Bridal Shower Checklist for Hosts: A Week-by-Week Plan
By Altar & Agenda · Updated
You've offered to host the shower. Now what? A bridal shower is usually a relaxed daytime party, but it still involves a guest list that has to match the wedding, a budget that might be shared between co-hosts, invitations, food, activities and a gift log for the thank-you notes.
This bridal shower checklist puts it all in order, with the etiquette basics from the Emily Post Institute so you don't have to guess.
On this page
Bridal shower etiquette basics
From the Emily Post Institute's bridal shower FAQ:
- Timing: ideally two months to two weeks before the wedding, once the couple has firm wedding plans.
- Who hosts: almost anyone except the couple. Friends, relatives or several people together can host. Bridesmaids aren't required to host, though they often do.
- Guests: normally, anyone invited to the shower is also invited to the wedding. The exception is an office shower thrown by coworkers.
- Size: it's the host's call, but a shower should be an intimate party, not one that rivals the wedding.
- More than one shower: fine, as long as different guests are invited to each. Generally only close family and the wedding party go to more than one.
- Registry details: fine to include with the invitation, but not printed on it.
Bridal shower checklist
8 to 10 weeks before
- Talk to the couple (or the person being showered): preferred dates, any no-go themes, whether it's a surprise.
- Get the guest list from the couple and check every name is invited to the wedding.
- Agree on co-hosts and who pays for what. Decide whether you're splitting costs equally or each taking a part (food, venue, décor, games).
- Set the budget and write it down.
6 to 8 weeks before
- Book the venue: a home, a restaurant private room, a tea room or a garden.
- Choose a theme and style: brunch, afternoon tea, garden party or a couples' shower.
- Order or make invitations.
4 to 6 weeks before
- Send invitations with the date, time, place, host names, RSVP details and dress code. Put registry information on a separate card or the wedding website link.
- Plan the menu and any drinks.
- Plan one or two activities and the gift-opening, if there will be one.
2 weeks before
- Chase RSVPs and confirm the headcount with the venue or caterer.
- Buy décor, supplies and prizes.
- Plan the schedule: arrivals, food, games, gifts, cake.
The week of
- Confirm deliveries and who brings what.
- Prepare a gift log: name, gift, and space to note the giver's address.
- Make a short run of show for co-hosts with who does what.
On the day
- Assign one person to write down every gift as it's opened. This is the list the couple will use for thank-you notes.
- Have bags and boxes ready to take gifts home.
- Take photos of the guest of honor with each guest or group.
After
- Share photos and send the gift log to the couple.
- Split the final costs with co-hosts promptly.
- The couple should thank the hosts too: the Emily Post Institute suggests a note to each host, ideally within two days of the party. Our wedding thank-you card wording guide has an example.
Bridal shower budget: splitting it between co-hosts
Agree on the split before anyone buys anything:
- Equal split: add up every receipt and divide by the number of hosts.
- By category: one host takes the venue, another the food, another décor and favors.
- Fixed contributions: each host gives an agreed amount and one person manages the spending.
Keep receipts in one place, with a column for who paid, and settle up within a week. The same approach works for bachelor and bachelorette weekends. For the wedding itself, see how to split wedding costs between families.
Frequently asked questions
When should a bridal shower be held?
Two months to two weeks before the wedding, according to the Emily Post Institute, once the couple's wedding plans are firm.
Who is supposed to host the bridal shower?
Anyone except the couple themselves: friends, the wedding party, relatives or a group of co-hosts. The maid of honor and bridesmaids aren't obliged to host.
Can you invite people to the shower who aren't invited to the wedding?
Generally no. Shower guests should also be wedding guests. The main exception is an office shower organized by coworkers.
Is it OK to put registry information on a shower invitation?
Emily Post says it's fine for the host to include registry information with the invitation, on a separate card, but not printed on the invitation itself.
Want it done for you?
Our Bridal Shower Planner spreadsheet tracks the budget and co-host split, guest list and RSVPs, menu and supplies, a planning checklist and the day's schedule. After the party, the Gift & Thank-You Tracker keeps every gift and thank-you note in one place, and the Bachelorette Planner & Cost Splitter settles who owes who after the bachelorette. Helping with the wedding budget too? Share the free Wedding Budget Starter.
Sources
- Emily Post Institute, Bridal Shower Etiquette: timing, who hosts, guest list, number of showers, size and registry information.
- Emily Post Institute, Wedding Thank Yous: thanking shower hosts within two days.
Disclosure: Altar & Agenda makes the templates linked above.
Free: the Wedding Budget Starter spreadsheet
Type your total and guest count, and it splits your budget into 13 categories, tracks quotes and payments and flags anything over budget. Excel and Google Sheets.
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