Rehearsal Dinner Checklist: Who Hosts, Who to Invite, What to Plan
By Altar & Agenda · Updated
The rehearsal dinner is one of the most popular events of the wedding weekend. In The Knot 2026 Real Weddings Study, 71% of couples had celebrations spanning two or three days, and 75% held a rehearsal dinner. It's usually smaller and more relaxed than the reception, with toasts, stories and a chance for both families to get to know each other.
This rehearsal dinner checklist covers the etiquette (from the Emily Post Institute), the guest list, the budget and a simple planning timeline.
On this page
Who hosts the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally the groom's family hosts and pays for the rehearsal dinner, but the Emily Post Institute says that's customary, not obligatory. The bride's family, the couple themselves, or both families together can host. If more than one party is paying, agree on the split before you book. Our guide to how to split wedding costs between families has ways to do it.
For budgeting, The Knot reports an average rehearsal dinner cost of $2,800 for 2025 weddings. That's an average, not a target; a backyard barbecue or a pizza night is just as traditional as a restaurant dinner.
Who to invite to the rehearsal dinner
Emily Post's guest list:
- The wedding party, plus their spouses, fiancé(e)s or partners
- The officiant and their spouse or partner
- Parents, stepparents and grandparents of the couple
- Siblings who aren't in the wedding party
- Children of the couple, unless they're very young
- Parents of young attendants, like the flower girl or ring bearer
- Dates of single attendants, if they're invited to the wedding with a guest
At larger rehearsal dinners, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews are often included. After that, you can add out-of-town guests, godparents and close friends if you'd like a bigger group. Anyone invited to the rehearsal dinner should also be invited to the wedding.
Rehearsal dinner checklist
3 to 6 months before
- Decide who's hosting and the budget.
- Book the venue close to the rehearsal or ceremony site. A private room at a restaurant, a club or a catered dinner at someone's home all work.
- Agree on the style. It can be a seated dinner, a buffet, a picnic or a brunch. Emily Post's one rule: it should never be more formal or lavish than the reception.
6 to 8 weeks before
- Finalize the guest list with the couple and both families.
- Choose the menu, and collect dietary needs from guests.
- Order invitations if you're sending printed ones.
3 to 6 weeks before
- Send invitations with the date, time, address, directions and how to RSVP. Printed, handwritten, phoned or emailed invitations are all fine, according to Emily Post.
1 to 2 weeks before
- Confirm the headcount with the venue.
- Plan the toasts: who speaks and in what order, and a gentle time limit. Hosts usually welcome everyone, then attendants and family toast, and the couple often closes by thanking both families.
- Plan gift-giving if the couple will give their attendants gifts at the dinner.
- Arrange seating if it's a seated dinner, mixing the two families.
On the night
- Introduce the families to each other early in the evening.
- Keep it on time. The wedding is tomorrow, so plan an end time and stick to it.
- Settle the bill and tip before you leave.
Rehearsal dinner budget checklist
- Venue or room fee, and any food and drink minimum
- Food per person, drinks, tax, service charge and tip
- Invitations and postage
- Décor and flowers (keep it simple)
- A microphone, if the room is big
- Transportation, if the venue isn't walkable
- Attendant gifts, if they're given at the dinner
Add every line to your wedding budget so nothing gets double-counted. The free Wedding Budget Starter has a category for it, and you can test totals in the wedding budget calculator. Then add the dinner to your wedding day timeline weekend schedule.
Frequently asked questions
Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally the groom's family, but it's customary rather than required. The bride's family, the couple or both families together can host and pay.
Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?
The wedding party and their partners, the officiant and partner, parents, stepparents, grandparents, siblings, and parents of young attendants. Out-of-town guests and close friends are optional.
When should rehearsal dinner invitations go out?
Three to six weeks before, according to the Emily Post Institute, with directions and RSVP details.
How much does a rehearsal dinner cost?
The average was $2,800 for 2025 weddings, according to The Knot. Costs depend mostly on the number of guests and the style of meal.
Want it done for you?
Our Rehearsal Dinner Planner spreadsheet tracks the guest list and RSVPs, menu and per-person costs, a cost split for families sharing the bill, the toast order and a planning checklist. The Wedding Party Organizer keeps attendants' duties, attire and gifts in one place.
Sources
- Emily Post Institute, The Rehearsal Dinner: who hosts, the guest list, invitations, location, style and toasts.
- The Knot, The Average Wedding Cost, According to The Knot Data: average rehearsal dinner cost.
- The Knot, 2026 Real Weddings Study data read-out: share of multi-day celebrations and rehearsal dinners.
Disclosure: Altar & Agenda makes the templates linked above.
Free: the Wedding Budget Starter spreadsheet
Type your total and guest count, and it splits your budget into 13 categories, tracks quotes and payments and flags anything over budget. Excel and Google Sheets.
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